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In the words of the great Aretha Franklin “All I’m askin’, is for a little respect” 

Dreaming of, planning and organising a wedding is so much fun! However, the realities of it all can be super stressful and at times, stressed out couples can unintentionally project this pressure onto their vendors. As vendors we know what a big day it is for you, but the accidental disrespect can hurt.  

Having been both a bride and a vendor I feel I can play a great mediator in this article on how best to manage the wedding planning stress and keep the relationship you have with your vendors respectful. 

One of the important things to remember is that most wedding vendors are small businesses, usually sole traders. They often work multiple jobs and while we love our job, we’re not exactly rolling in dough. I personally work three, technically four, jobs as well as being a single parent. Every second that I pour into making sure your day is perfect is precious to me. It’s late nights and weekends away from my children. I don’t share this to make you feel sorry for me, I love my job! And I love it so much I pour my heart and soul into each and every wedding I book. The smiles and happy tears on my couple’s faces make it all worth it.  

But it’s because I love my job so much that any unwarranted negative behaviour is taken very personally. I have been blessed to experience very little stress related conflict with my couples, but I have seen other vendors in tears.  

There are always two sides to a coin and some couples may feel their added stress is because of their vendor’s actions. Maybe you haven’t received what was promised or you’re disappointed in the communication. Unfortunately, there are small number of unprofessional vendors out there that will cause unnecessary stress, and like all of us, there will be amazing vendors that make genuine mistakes. The difference between the two is that a good vendor should always apologise for a mistake and will often go out of their way to fix it.  

Some ways to limit potential problems with your vendors is clear communication. Read your contract, quotes, and invoices thoroughly. Pay close attention to what is and what isn’t included. Unsure about a certain point in the contract? Ask your vendor. Not clear what’s provided? Ask your vendor. Feeling stressed out about a certain part of your big day? Let your vendor know. We’re here to help you. We, just as much as you, want your day to run as smoothly and be as perfect as can be. If you have a concern leading up to the day, we want to hear about it.  

If you are feeling frustrated by a vendor, and before you hit send on that email or pick up the phone, take a breath. Pause, relax and think about the person on the end of that call or email. Give them the benefit of the doubt that they are busy, tired, and only human. Give them the benefit that they are unaware that something about your day is stressing you out. Give them the benefit that they will go out of their way to remedy this stress when spoken to respectfully.  

Behind the scenes of a wedding can be manic, things go wrong all the time. As vendors we work together and hustle like you wouldn’t believe to work our magic and fix every problem we can. But sometimes even our magic isn’t enough. At the end of the day ask yourself: did you get to marry the one you love the most? Did your guests have the time of their life? Did you dance the night away? Try not to worry about the little things, the accidents, and the mishaps out of everyone’s control. Your vendors will already be beating themselves up about it, and the kindest thing you can do is let them know you appreciate them and that you had the time of your life.  

The relationships we as vendors build with some couples is beautiful, I’ve been lucky enough to share some of life’s biggest milestones with my couples well past their wedding day. And while we always will give one hundred and ten percent to all our couples, it’s those special ones, the ones who show us the greatest kindness and respect, who get a little bit more of our hearts poured into their big days. 

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